FOURTH try submitting! >___<
This is my first literary piece ever. Most likely there won't be much more, I'm not planning a career as a poet or anything.
Let me explain. This has been rolling inside my head for a good few weeks and I've been working on it for a while. The plan is to use it as a basis for a highly involved visual piece, I'm also planning to use that piece as a final work for my Arts classes.
I know this "thing" might have a huuuuuuuuuuuuge amount of silly beginners mistakes, that would be easily noticeable by any, who have even the slightest knowledge of poetry. But that's okay, I never said I'd be an expert in poetry.
But anyway, i like it. I like the imagery of it in my head.
If someone wants to point out any mistakes, feel free to do so. Commentary and critique is always appreciated.
Comments
RedNymph234 Says:
Basing art off of this would place it in the pantheon of masterpeices. I love the last two lines of the first paragraph, "In the eyes of men, I am an omen of their doom." kick ass!
"But even so
Don?t you find it odd?
That I am so alluring"
Yeah, evil is so alluring isn't it? this reminds me of "Dancing with the Devil" By Breaking Benjamin. I like this, it is very dark and gothic. So is the Raven a demon? And also, you should add more commas and periods at the end of your lines to keep a certain flow
HolyCheesecakes Says:
amazing work!
very dark and "alluring" 
i can't heart it enough!! 
the imagery is excellent, and the spacing is epic! amazingness~ i'd love to critique it --- but there's nothing to critique! the voice is solid, the lines well-planned (and well-placed!) sometimes you skip on the commas and periods and such, but most of the time you switch lines, so there's really no need --- i cannot wait to see the artwork that goes with this! 
Fitos Says:
Well, you know me.
I actually gotta say.. that WTF MAN!! This is your FIRST poem... not at ALL as bad as my first... dude.
Ok secondly, the first two lines of the first stanza as well as the first three lines in the second stanza are actually very good. The rest of it is good for a first try and "meh" for anything else
But really, good job, matey.