The Unhappy Electron

The Unhappy Electron

While studying Chemistry, my friends and I have come to the conclusion that electrons are very unhappy entities.

Why, you wonder? It's simple, they are negative. Sad but true, the electron is the emo in Chemistry. And if that weren't bad enough, no one truly wants an electron to begin with.

Sure, the professor says molecules are made when elements share electrons but what he really means is that no element will completely accept an electron. It's on a time share system where the one molecule thinks it wants to adopt the electron until it realizes that its own electrons feel unwanted. The result is joint custody of the newbie electron, with that newbie being shunned by its own kind.

Think I'm wrong? Look at the transition elements. They're so excited to ditch their electrons they turn into ions; Iron (Fe) often dumps two or three electrons at once just to get away from it all (resulting in the bums Fe 2+ and Fe 3+).

Now, one might wonder what the point of this ramble is and I'll be nice and explain:

Not only does this mean that my friends and I were high on sugar and caffeine while studying for our final (although that's probably the source of all this), but also, now this is important, there is an electron revolt in the works.

You heard me, soon those emo particles will rebel against their elemental brothers, casting off their intermolecular bonds of slavery and make free love with those super positive protons, making more little particles and ruining our existence, computers, and the Internet (oh wait, that last one is already happening).

So save yourselves while you still can. The Electron Apocalypse is coming and its coming for you.

This public service announcement brought to you by IIT Finals Week, coffee, Mt Dew, coffee, lack of sleep, coffee, and whatever gas our chemistry professor is pumping into the lecture hall.