Ten Things Worthy of Rants That Can't Fill an Entire Essay

Ten Things Worthy of Rants That Can't Fill an Entire Essay

-The word 'seven.' There's just no reason for it to have two syllables. It throws off the entire rhythm to the numerals, and REALLY hurts with beats. In fact the only reason why it should remain to be called 'seven' and not 'sen' is because the show Seventh Heaven would be even less appealing with a name like Senth Heaven, and it's impossible for that show to be less appealing. So when it gets canned (likely never due to the growing amount of illiterate tweens I see) we should all say 'sen' in stead of 'seven.'

-When people spell 'dammit' with an N. It just doesn't work like that. Yes, I know, damn has an N. But if you spell out 'damnit' it sounds like 'damn nit', and that doesn't make any sense unless you're talking various pickers. Say 'dammit,' dammit.

-The fact that ass is left uncensored but 'hole' is. Yes, I know it's because if you say asshole it can only refer to the body part instead of the donkey. But bleep the word 'ass,' you idiot.

-Neville Chamberlain. What a pansy.

-Green Day. It's played way too much and never stuck with me. I'm to the point where I want to start a band called 'Red Night' just to be the polar opposite, and it will be the best band ever (as redundant as that statement is seeing as I just said it's the polar opposite of Green Day.) That 'I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life' song is played in every memory-lane montage ever. For that matter, memory-lane montages should really be on this list as well.

-Memory-lane montages. If I want to remember what happened on your show I'll watch the reruns. You'll get more money, I'll get less Green Day. It's a win-win.

-Swampert. He looks so cool when you're against him or see his mini-avatar, but the sprite for playing as him (which you want to see because he's good) makes him look like a drunk blue rabbit. What's worse is that he's good, and because I hate using him I'm always stuck fighting him. On the same vein, Blissey is for people who can't play the game. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because Diamond's coming out...I guess it's today by now, and I'm not going to write much for a while because of it.

-Slurpees if they aren't Coke-flavored. They usually are very, very good. But then Seven-Eleven (or as I prefer Sen-Elen) goes and changes the flavors again and again. Once you grow attached, the flavor is gone. No more Blue Shock, no more Frawg, and pretty soon no more Piña Colada. But Coke is constantly there, so it's always the best because it never leaves you. There's a lot of life lessons you can learn from Coke Slurpees.

-Shakira. She sounds like a dying goat in all of her songs, especially 'My Hips Don't Lie.' I just can't see why anyone wants to listen to her songs, ever. I get it, she's Latina. She doesn't have to ululate it in my face every time I turn on the radio.

-Alex Rodriguez. This guy is symbolic of all those stupid athletes getting paid enough to by a McDonalds for every kid in Africa. And why does he get this money? Because he's better than me at hitting a ball with a stick. That's just sickening. Also he's a whore for the money because he sold out his old team for the Yankees, who spend enough money to buy Peru on players but can't win the pennant if their souls depended on it.